Tuesday, July 17, 2007

You know you are Bulgarian when...

You started to drink at the age of 12.
It takes over 8 years to finish college.
When you make jokes based on your own tragedy.
At your wedding you know only about a third of the guests.
Duck tape is your only tool next to using a kitchen knife as a screwdriver.
There is a 120-gallon barrel of wine and cabbage in your garage.
There is more alcohol in your liquor cabinet than at the local bar.
You are 18 years old but your parents still call you by your sibling's or pet's name.
You can hear your parents snoring from across the street.
Your grandma and grandpa live in your basement.
Both your (grand)parents had to walk to school barefoot in the snow, 5 km uphill - both ways - and over rocks and they make sure to remind you every time you get in your car.
Your (grand)parents have a half liter of wine with every meal.
Your mom tells you not to sit on cement or your ovaries will freeze.
There is a slab of fat in your fridge called 'slanina.'
When your grandma will not accept the fact that you're not hungry.
All of your elderly acquaintances are scared of drafts.
When you can always smell garlic on your parents breath and they insist that is kills bacteria.
When your grandma would rather walk 5 miles to the grocery store instead of pay a quarter to take the bus.
When you have a chicken running in your back yard.
Calling someone for a chat at 1 am on a weeknight is normal.
As soon as you tell somebody you're Bulgarian they usually scream STOICKOV with a weird accent. (Kotooshu! and Yoghurto! in Japan)
Your parents insist that piling blankets on you body is the way to cure your 102 degree fever.
When you are never certain whether stay abroad or return to Bulgaria .
You know you're Bulgarian when all you have to do is sniffle and your parents say "uh-huh" and start yelling at you for getting sick.
You are adored the first 10 years of your life, then treated like a complete idiot until you get married. (hmm. not sure about this)
You know u r Bugarian when each vacation u think u should go to Cuba and still end up going back to Bulgaria.
You know you are Bulgarian when every time u see a gypsy, u hold on to ur bag cause u think they're gonna steal it.

1 comment:

amary said...

:)absolytno viarno:))))strahotno napisano:)))smehat ste me darji dosta vreme:)))